Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
