She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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