Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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