How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
