talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
