life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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