Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
