and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
