do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
