Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
