The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
