but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
