Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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