Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
only you would photoshop your dick
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
