Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
