Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
