Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
