Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
