So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
