Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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