Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
