this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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