Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
3 2 1 whiskey
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
