just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
