she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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