I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
