I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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