I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need a beard to bite.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
