You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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