Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
