hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
