is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I see more hoeing in ur future
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