its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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