Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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