I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize