In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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