how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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