i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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