I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I checked into jail on foursquare
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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