i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
