Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
