I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
