I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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