i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
