Already got asked if we're dating
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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