The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
NoShamevember. You game?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pants are for mortals
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
