The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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