proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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