I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
