She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
