I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm both gender and math confused
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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