If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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