absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
