It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
