so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
