look no pants
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
