they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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