Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
