Im at strip club and am horny
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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