I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
