i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
